Revising “Autumn”, Continued

In the original version of “Autumn”—my first lyric poem proper—my enthusiasm for the subject resulted in an opening stanza that attempted to praise too much of the season at once. In a mere four lines, it mentioned autumn fires, bracing air, shorter days, bluer skies and green hills!

This exuberance was at odds with the rest of the stanzas which each focused on a single idea: stanza two on the morning mist, stanza three on the dew-drenched grass, stanza four on the flooding rains.

I have now rewritten the first stanza so that it follows the same approach, dwelling on one of its original points only: autumn fires. Instead of conveying much in passing (as one sweeps through the lines), the new version describes little in detail (with more words expended on the topic).

This adjustment does a great deal to improve the cohesiveness of the composition. There are one or two more decisions of this kind that need to be made; then I am confident I can come to a final draft.

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