The second stanza for “The Sun Through the Clouds” (previously, “Rains and Roads”) has been a success. Not only does it mirror the structure of the first stanza, it complements its concept in a manner I had not anticipated when I first conceived of it. The poem then is complete; its final title, “A Sunburst!”.
In the coming days, I shall reflect upon its lines to see if they may be further refined, but I am confident that it is now in its final form. In the meantime, I have officially abandoned the “Cranes” and “Autumn Day” sketches, as my criticisms remain, but I would like to make an attempt at developing “Mountains”.
I am developing the simplest idea for the second stanza of “Rains and Roads”: since the first delights at the sun breaking through the clouds, the second watches as it retreats. The subject having shifted to the sun (rather than the effects of the rain, as in the original sketch), the working title too has evolved; it is currently, “The Sun Through the Clouds”.
Timorously developing the rough lines of the “Rains and Roads” poetic sketch, here and there, a promising phrase emerges—like the very sunlight through clouds they describe. The poem muses upon a moment not unlike the one I include here, photographed in late spring, 2018. (So bright was the sun that the iPhone camera could not bear it!) I suspect “Rains and Roads” will be a single stanza to echo the transience of the scene. Indeed, nothing worthy comes to mind for a second stanza just yet.